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Coming to Terms With My Bra Nemesis

I spent a lovely hour on the phone yesterday with Ms. Kitty Plum, and unsurprisingly, the conversation turned to bras. I explained my pure hatred of nude colored bras.

“It’s not that I’ve got anything against the color,” I explained, “I just spent all these years being forced into nude minimizer bras by Wacoal by my mother, and looking at them just brings back all these horrible feelings.”

Amazingly, she proceeded to tell me about the bra that made her feel that way too.

I realized then that lots of women probably have a bra nemesis. The bra that your mother made you wear, the bra you wore before you realized what size you actually were, the bras you were forced into when you were told you were either too small or too large for “normal” bras.

Yeah, that bra.

The worst part was my bra nemesis was still in my closet when I started writing lingerie columns. It was on the back of a high shelf being ignored, but it wasn’t gone. When my lingerie collection finally grew past a tiny drawer, I cleared out that closet and filled it with new bras that fit. Then, I threw out my old minimizer bra. New closet, new beginnings.

I still have that reaction to nude bras though. The closet I own to a plain bra is a black Freya that is ugly but useful under dresses. I’m pretty sure it all goes back to those early bra experiences where I felt like a freak every time I went bra shopping. The woman my mom buys bras from still refers to me as “Oh, the G cup girl!”.

I was thinking about all of this the other day when I ran across this amazingly gorgeous Wacoal bra. It truly shocked me. It was classy, feminine, and came in a gorgeous array of colors. If they made it in my size, I would have snapped it up right away. I started thinking that maybe all of my negative feelings had more to do with the horrible feelings I had about my body as a teenager rather than the bra I blamed it all on.

Wacoal Embrace Lace Underwire via Bare Necessities

So, since Thursday is a good day for discussions, I’m asking you to weigh in on these questions. Do you have a bra nemesis? Have you made peace with it? Are there certain kinds of bras you won’t buy due to bad personal experiences? Let me know in the comments.

8 Comments

  1. Love this post! Basic nude bras are important for an invisible, seamless look under certain clothes… but lace bras that still support are amazing! I love Wacoal for basics but some of their bras are quite lovely. Also… I love nude bras that have a little bit of lace detail, like my fav the Simone Perele Andora. Pretty AND basic. Love.

    • I will check out that Simone Perele. I’m honestly hoping to find a nude bra I love one day, but so far it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe I’ll come in to the store and have you find the perfect one for me next time I’m in the area. 🙂

  2. What a great topic, Holly. At first I couldn’t think of a nemesis because even though it was horribly ugly, my Cameo bra was the best thing that could have happened to me as a full-busted teenager (I wrote about it here: http://hourglassy.com/2011/05/confidence-from-bra-and-big-sister/). However, I think beige Wacoals are my nemesis, too! I recently purchased the Wacoal Alluring bra, and it has amazing support and lift, but even w/ its jacquard leopard print, it feels too functional for me. I was in a dressing room with a bunch of other women who each had gorgeous bras, and it reminded me of the difference it makes.

    • Gorgeous bras are important. The self-confidence they give you is definitely worth it! It really can be hard to be the one woman with the practical bra when you’re surrounded by pretty colorful things.

  3. A very important subject Holly. Dealing solely with big busted women I know that they often think their only option is a nude bra because that’s all they’ve ever found in their size (or close enough which is awful!) They’ve never known bras in spectacular colours, patterns and fabrics that are available in their size. The nude bra is like an albatross around their neck, the punishment for being a big busted girl. I love giving women a choice of colours in D-K cups and introducing them to beautiful nude bras (because I think nude is very useful but needn’t be boring). I love the nude Harmonie from Conturelle, it’s supportive and elegant. http://www.butterflycollection.ca/products/Harmonie-Bra-Sand.html

  4. Everything about Victoria’s Secret is my nemesis… For years, I tried to squeeze myself into their 34DD’s… The sales girls always tried to convince me that it fit… Over the years, I’ve bought hundreds of Bras there… out of convenience (even while working in the Intimate Apparel industry)!

    I’ve only been shopping for proper bras for the past few years… And maybe that is due to the fact that I can now afford it…. I am soooo grateful for the Full-Busted UK brands such as Freya, Fauve, Fantasie… They changed my life! Beautiful Bras that fit me right! XO

  5. Any bra that has thin stretchy cups and pretty much all 36C/D bras. I even remember pulling out the back of my bra as a college student and wondering why in the world they made them so big (I wish I would’ve realized then that something was wrong then!). I always had the stretchy, completely unsupportive cups because they were the only ones that wouldn’t give me the 4-boob effect.

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